


Sagittarius

by WritingYay



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Alcohol, Anniversary, Avengers Family, Barton Kids - Freeform, Coping, Cute, Death, Domestic Avengers, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff, Grief, Mentions of Death, Multi, POV Steve Rogers, Pepper Potts & Steve Rogers Friendship, Pepper Potts Is a Good Bro, Sad, Swearing, Tears, friendships, memorial, slight angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-18
Updated: 2019-05-18
Packaged: 2020-03-07 11:57:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,584
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18872746
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WritingYay/pseuds/WritingYay
Summary: “Everyone here is in debt to Natasha in some way.” Clint takes over and shivers against the burning heat of the bonfire. “That’s why we do this. That’s why we meet here on these days, as a family, to honour a friend that we have lost.”“And to get drunk.” Laura interrupts with a serious nod and cradles her champagne against her chest.Clint laughs at her and scrubs at his cheekbone to soak up the tears. “Natasha Alianovna Romanoff.” He says, his voice betraying him with a resounding catch. He gestures to the sky with his beer bottle and the adults join him. Morgan holds her lemonade above her head and smiles brightly, one of Nat’s necklaces sitting snug against her collarbones. “The goddamn bravest woman I have ever known. She saved me, the day she died, and she continues to save me now. I love you Nat, you fluffy ball of soft marshmallow. Hope you and Tony are having a ball up there.”





	Sagittarius

The day begins with blinding dawn sunshine beaming into Steve’s eyes as he blinks awake; his first thought being _Jesus Nat, alright, I’m awake_. The sunlight instantly dims a bit as a wisp of cloud stretches over the rays.

Bucky snuffles into his bare back as his grip tightens around Steve’s waist. 

“Go back to sleep,” he murmurs, sleep-hoarse and soft. “Clint and the kids aren’t getting here until midday and we can’t start w’thout them.”

“Sorry.” Steve mutters back and tries to let sleep take him again. “The sun was in my eyes. I think Nat’s trying to remind us what today is.”

There’s a pause as Bucky’s sleep cloaked brain attempts to catch up, before a rumbling vibration of him chuckling reverberates down Steve’s spine. “That’s a cute way of looking at it.”

Steve lies there for about thirty minutes more until he concludes with a huff that he wasn’t going to be able to get back to sleep. With every passing minute, the sun seemed to grow even more blinding until a thick beam of Midas gold was peeking right through the curtains and piercing his eyelids. He lifts his head up to look at the time, the regimented artificial numbers flashing at him mockingly. His neck flops back down onto the pillow with a groan which in turn jolts Bucky.

“Asshole.” Bucky hisses and kicks Steve sharply in the calf. “Fuck off and shower then, will you? I was up until two- I deserve more of a lie-in.”

Steve laughs under his breath and extracts himself from Bucky’s octopus hold. He swings his legs over the side of the bed and winces when his feet plant on the biting cold of the wooden floor.

“You should’ve gone to sleep earlier then, shouldn’t you?”

Bucky cracks one eye open with a snap to fix a critical glare on the blonde man. “T’was your fucking fault I was up until ass o’clock, now get lost.”

The images of last night’s activities flood Steve’s mind and he can’t help but shrug at Bucky innocently, a huge smile lighting up his features. “I don’t remember you telling me to stop?”

If anything, Bucky had screamed at him to _go harder, Steve, oh f-fuck baby, you feel so good, SHIT_ but he wasn’t going to mention that if he wanted to keep his balls. Bucky flips him off with a snort before settling down into the huge bed again to tuck the duvet up to his chin.

The old compound was eerily silent when Steve eventually makes it down to the kitchen after taking an icy shower to fully drag him into the land of the living. Moving back into this compound after so long living at the one that had been flattened the day Tony died had been really weird. Everywhere was pulsing with dormant memories, Steve couldn’t even go down to the gym without seeing Nat’s evil grin- the one she used when she was about to leave him with bruises lasting a week- all over the space.

Knowing tired Bucky equalled irritable Bucky, Steve flicks on the kettle to make them both coffee and settles at the huge panoramic windows. The curtains were beginning to close on summer; lazy sunbeams and rusting leaves. When they’d all lived here, the woodland at the foot of the compound’s numerous hectares had been filled with carefully pruned cherry trees and the odd silver birch here and there. It had been one of Steve’s favourite places to _breathe_ and he’d lost count of the amount of times he’d wandered down there after a volatile mission to bask in the silence. Tony had started joining him down there towards the end. The two of them never talked whilst sat amongst the trees. They’d just breathed. Now, the woodland was overgrown and unkept. Cherries hadn’t sprouted from the blossom in years, and whenever Steve ventured down there, Tony’s spirit was everywhere- even more so than when he walked the compound halls.

A horrible dull ache encompasses Steve’s chest at the memory. He has to exhale heavily a few times to get rid of the shake that bit off the edges of his lungs. 

“You made coffee?” Bucky’s _just woken up_ voice was about four octaves lower than his normal voice and even after all this time it sends fire crackling through Steve’s veins. “I knew I married you for a reason.”

Steve turns round to roll his eyes as the kettle makes a clicking noise to signify attention. 

“If that’s the only reason you married me, we’ve got an issue pal.”

Bucky laughs and sidles up next to Steve to wind his arms around his husband’s waist. Steve slips his eyes closed as Bucky slots their lips together to kiss him, languid and deep, and loosens his chest.

“Hmmm.” Bucky growls in appreciation when they part. “You may have a point.”

He moves to grab some cups and the tin of instant coffee. Steve would make a proper pot, but in all honesty he couldn’t really be bothered. They make the drinks in silence like a conveyor belt; Steve passes the mix of granules and boiling water to Bucky to stir and add milk to. 

Sam joins them about twenty minutes later and flops over the kitchen table to rest his head on his arms.

“It’s so quiet.” He marvels from the depths of his elbows. The ‘I heart Captain America’ t-shirt he’s wearing clings to his biceps like latex. Steve had bought it for him five years ago as a joke when he’d handed the mantle over to him and Sam had lived in the bloody thing ever since, even though he categorically moaned that he hated it. “The compound feels so… off on these days.”

Steve makes a huff of agreement and lowers himself into the chair adjacent from him. “I know what you mean. Feels tense.”

Sam extracts his face from the table and nods. 

“Clint, Laura and the kids are getting here for about twelve.” Bucky says from his position leaning against the kitchen counter, phone still firmly in hand. “And Rhodey is in London until Friday, but he sends his love. What about the others?”

“I heard Wanda moving around in her room when I came down here.” Sam pipes up. “And Bruce said he’d be here this afternoon.”

“Is Helen Cho coming with him?” Steve asks.

Bucky’s lips quirk upwards. “It’s Helen _Banner_ , Steve. How many times? They’ve been married for six fuckin’ months.”

Steve gives him the middle finger.

“Nah, apparently she’s gotta work. Thor will be here, and Peter is coming straight from MIT so he’ll be on his way by now.” There’s an almighty crack as Sam stretches out his shoulder, a relieved groan slipping from his lips.

“Pepper and Morgan will be here a bit later.” Steve adds, and finishes his coffee with a gulp. “An’ I haven’t heard from the Guardians in over a month. I think they were with Carol last time I checked, but with that lot you know shit all.”

The other two men chuckle, and for a fleeting moment Steve believes that they may survive today pretty okay.

It doesn’t last long.

They spend the next few hours lounging around on the communal floor and Wanda finally joins them around half eleven. Bucky throws on an old episode of their beloved _Fleabag_ as they wait for Clint. The sexy Priest has just walked away from Fleabag when someone knocks at the door, and Wanda teases Sam for tearing up at the show.

“Fucking traffic.” Clint mumbles under his breath when Steve opens the door for them. Nathaniel takes a running jump at Bucky, who catches his weight easily and spins him around the hallway like a rocket. Lila immediately goes for Wanda and they hug. Steve can’t believe how grown up they’re getting. “Who’s driving in upstate New York on a _Wednesday_?”

Laura appears behind him and arches her eyebrows in a knowing gesture. “Us?”

Clint chuckles falsely and gently elbows his wife in the ribs. “You’re so funny.”

“Jordan?” Steve enquires after the oldest Barton child when they put down their bags next to the elevator. Sam promises them that he’ll put them in their rooms when he goes up to change. 

Clint shakes his head. “He’s on vacation with his college friends. He didn’t want to go, but we convinced him that it was fine, and that his Auntie Nat won’t strike lightning on his dorm for not being here.”

“He knows that she will, right?”

“Eh,” Clint shrugs. “I’m hoping she’ll let him off this once. As long as he names his first daughter after her, we should be okay.”

Laura wanders out into the garden to join the others, who are crouched in the vegetable patch. Bucky’s showing them how to pluck some strawberries for later, and Lila’s wearing a smile that Steve knows he should be doing a better job to recreate.

Fuck.

“I can’t believe it’s been five years.” Clint says quietly, and no, neither can Steve. He tells the ex-archer that and Clint replies with a pitying grimace that conveys enough exhaustion for the both of them.

“When’s Pepper getting here?”

Steve clears his throat roughly. “She should be here in about an hour, I guess. She wanted to wait until Morgan finished school.”

“When’s she going back?”

“Uh,” Steve rubs a hand over his face. “Sunday, maybe? There’s no point in them going home and then coming back for Saturday when-”

He stutters, his tongue suddenly too heavy for his mouth.

“We do this all again for Tony.” Clint finishes for him, and yeah, that fucking hurts.

He just settles on nodding, _once, twice_ before plastering a smile onto his face that he knew was cracking like plaster cast. Clint raises an eyebrow and doesn’t say anything. Instead, a claps a hand onto Steve’s shoulder to give it a knowing squeeze.

“C’mon. I vote beer, and letting our partners entertain the kids.”

Eventually, the others start to filter through the compound. Bruce arrives with four bottles of champagne and a suitcase that’s half full of ibuprofen, clearly expecting the night to steer in a particular direction. It normally does, to be fair, and Steve appreciates the gesture even though he won’t be using any of it. Perks of being enhanced, hey.

Peter barrels through with rushed apologies for being late, even though he isn’t, he’s actually forty minutes earlier than he said he’d be. Bucky sits him down on the outdoor sofa with a glass of water and a snort. Thor arrives in a literal crash of thunder right in front of Laura on the grass that scares the _ever shitting daylights out of me, Thor, I SWEAR to god_. He just sweeps her up in a spinning hug that leaves her shrieking with laughter and slightly breathless. Thor does the same to Steve, and he takes a moment to breathe deeply whilst safely wrapped up in Thor’s huge arms. He pulls some Asgardian mead out of nowhere and thrusts tumblers of the stuff into Steve’s, Bucky’s, and Peter’s hands. 

“For Agent Romanoff.” Is all he says to explain it, and throws half a bottle down his throat in one. 

Steve manages to keep his façade up pretty well until Pepper walks through the door. That woman has always had a way of fixing him with _a look_ that was like a visual hug. She stalks towards him as he holds the front door wide open and pulls him into an embrace that he just melts into. 

“It’s okay.” She whispers into his ear, and suddenly there’s the tell-tale sign of breaking scratching at the back of his throat. Young arms wrap around his hips and he reaches out a hand to settle in Morgan’s hair as a silent greeting. 

“Don’t,” he whispers wetly into her crown. “I was doing so well.”

Pepper scoffs against his temple and steps away to press a kiss against his cheekbone. She smooths down her dress and rests her hands against her hips. “Fuck.”

Steve gasps in mock horror and reaches down to clasp his hands over Morgan’s ears. The girl squeals in delight and widens her eyes at her Mom dramatically. “Jesus, language!”

Pepper shakes her head with mirth. “She’s Tony’s daughter. You don’t think she heard worse in her first three years of life?”

It stabs Steve in the stomach harder than he thought it would, to be reminded of how much Morgan had lost at such a young age. 

“Bruce brought champagne.” He tells Pepper who groans, pleased, and meanders off through the kitchen to reach the others. Steve prises his hands away from the sides of Morgan’s head and twirls her around so he can look down at her properly. At nearly nine, there was no doubt that she was turning into a beautiful young lady, and Steve fully appreciates seeing flecks of his dear friend living through her.

“You good, lil’ bug?”

She nods, her curls bouncing around her shoulders.

“Awesome. C’mon, let’s go find you a drink and a blanket. We’ll probably start soon.”

They wait until the sky is mottled in black ink with a drizzle of star specs dotted around the vast canvas. They sit around the bonfire that Bucky and Sam spent the majority of the afternoon carefully constructing in a loose circle with every blanket they could find lying around the compound. Sam flicks a bit of lighter fluid onto the wood to get it going and Bucky pulls him back with a shriek and a slap across the back of his neck. 

“Rhodey said he would do his best to get here for Saturday.” Pepper says to Steve as she floats behind him to get some strawberries for Morgan. “The government are being a bit shit about him taking time off, but he’ll pull as many strings as he can.”

Steve creaks his neck backwards to look at Pepper upside down and smiles grimly. “Oh okay. Fuck, I hope he makes it.”

Pepper just returns his hopeful gaze and drags her fingers through his hair lightly before she wanders off. Bucky flops down next to Steve with a full-body sigh and pulls the sleeves of his hoodie further over his wrists.

“You’re a dick for giving Sam the Cap mantle.” He moans moodily and Steve supresses the urge to roll his eyes. “A sponge has more common sense than him. Moron.”

Steve snorts and leans backwards on his hands to stretch out his torso. Bucky takes the offer and shuffles round to lean against his husband’s chest with a small content sigh. They all mill around for a bit, filling plates up with a variety of traditional Russian food and whatever Steve could find at the nearest shop, until everyone’s sat around the fire.

Steve catches Clint’s eye and gives him a nod.

“Could I have your attention please?” Clint’s voice commands respect and the garden falls into immediate quiet. Lila rests her head on her Mom’s shoulder. “Thank you all for making it today, we really appreciate it. We are here this evening to celebrate the life of Natasha Romanoff.”

The fire seems to grow even bigger at that moment, like Nat was reassuring them that she there. It was like the sun that morning, and Steve’s heart swells at the notion that her presence followed them.

“It’s been five years since I lost my best friend.” Clint announces and hearing it out loud made it even more surreal. Five years? Fuck, where had the time gone? It didn’t seem five minutes since Thanos had been snapped back to the asshole of nowhere, or since Steve had told Bucky exactly how he felt seventy years later than he should’ve done. Now look at them. His wedding ring gleams in the orange hue; Bucky’s matching band sparkling from his lap. “And that is so hard to understand.”

“Nat was the first woman I ever loved.” Bruce chimes in, Peter sat next to him with their sides pressed together under the same blanket. “I take comfort in the fact that she would approve of my marriage with Helen. Even though we didn’t work out that way, I know she would’ve wanted me to be happy.”

He sounds unsure, and Steve whines in pain.

“Of course she would, Bruce.”

“Nat took care of us when we were on the run after the Accords.” Sam nods and Steve can’t help but freeze. Bucky clearly notices it, because he lifts himself over Steve’s thigh so he’s resting in the open v-shape of his legs. “I was so scared. We didn’t have anywhere to go- we were fugitives. Natasha made me feel like I belonged somewhere, even though we were lost. I’ll never be able to repay her for that.”

“She made me feel beautiful, even when I was eight months pregnant.” Laura continues softly and taps Lila on her nose. “These blessings are the best part of my life, and I am so glad I got to share that miracle with her as my friend.”

The circle falls quiet, and Steve knows it’s his turn to be raw and vulnerable. “I first met Nat when I came out of the ice. I was so out of my depth, s-so-” he has to clear his throat and Pepper sends him an encouraging smile. “The first thing she said to me was that there was this ‘buzz’ around me coming back. I didn’t understand her. There shouldn’t have been excitement around me, I didn’t deserve that. She did, though. She was one of those amazing humans that everyone should’ve been excited about.”

Clint grins and bites his lower lip as his control begins to slip.

“The thing I owe her the most for, is helping me find this one.” Steve murmurs, and tucks Bucky’s hair behind his ear to gently kiss its shell. “It sucks that she couldn’t be our bridesmaid.”

He realises two seconds too late that he’s crying. Bucky sits up to wipe away the falling tears with his hoodie’s sleeve and makes a soft cooing noise that has Steve’s heart knotting.

“Everyone here is in debt to Natasha in some way.” Clint takes over and shivers against the burning heat of the bonfire. “That’s why we do this. That’s why we meet here on these days, as a family, to honour a friend that we have lost.”

“And to get drunk.” Laura interrupts with a serious nod and cradles her champagne against her chest.

Clint laughs at her and scrubs at his cheekbone to soak up the tears. “Natasha Alianovna Romanoff.” He says, his voice betraying him with a resounding catch. He gestures to the sky with his beer bottle and the adults join him. Morgan holds her lemonade above her head and smiles brightly, one of Nat’s necklaces sitting snug against her collarbones. “The goddamn bravest woman I have ever known. She saved me, the day she died, and she continues to save me now. I love you Nat, you fluffy ball of soft marshmallow. Hope you and Tony are having a ball up there.”

Pepper presses her lips together and arches her neck upwards. The tears in her eyes look like ice crystals. 

“We love you, Nat.” Everyone choruses, just like they’ve done every year for the last five on this day: the anniversary of Nat’s death. 

Eventually, the kids start to crash. Peter leans down to let Morgan fold herself around his body like a limpet, her head lolling on his shoulder as she struggles to keep herself awake. Laura shoos her two indoors and nods at Clint pointedly as she clicks the French doors behind them. Thor’s passed out on the grass in a blanket cocoon.

“We should burn some ballet slippers.” Bucky says out of nowhere and the remainder turn to look at him in utter confusion.

Steve frowns. “Sorry?”

“Ballet slippers.” Bucky repeats, like that explains everything. When the blank stares don’t morph into realisation, he rolls his eyes with a: “We should burn some, as a massive fuck you to the Red Room?”

Steve’s heart clenches fiercely. Bruce nods enthusiastically.

“She would love that.”

“It’s her birthday in four months,” Bucky poses. “Why don’t we do it then?”

“The month of Christmas: joy and laughter and generosity, and we wanna cremate some satin shoes.” Clint mutters in amusement and shakes his head, even though there’s fire dancing through his blue eyes. “Go on then. You’re right, she would love that.” Then, he drops his gaze to twirl his fingers around his jacket’s zip. “My passionate little Sagittarius.” 

Steve blows air between his teeth slowly. “This hurts. I can’t believe we have to do this again in a few days.”

Bucky wordlessly laces their fingers together and squeezes. “I know, baby.” He smiles tightly. “But it will get easier.”

“It will.” Clint nods. And then: “It has to.”

Steve turns to the dwindling fire and revels in the way it illuminates the surrounding trees with licks of ferocious light.

“Black Widow.” He nods at the stars politely before letting himself grin at the sky like Nat’s giggling down on them, raw and carefree. “Our girl. Our survivor.”

A shooting star catapults across the space, sending ricochets of sparks dazzling into the night. They all look at each other, shocked, before one of them breaks into uncontrollable (slightly hysterical) laughter and the rest follow.

“Our sister.”

**Author's Note:**

> I couldn't find out when Nat's birthday was, so I made it up!
> 
> I needed to do something other than revision, or I was about to lose my mind. Here you go!
> 
> One Kudos = one prayer to the writer who is slowly losing the plot with exams :)


End file.
